Week 10: What to think about appearance

In week 10 of our Step Up Your Speaking program, I asked Stephanie to try on an outfit she might wear for a speech and to share her thoughts about appearance, which you can see in this video. She did what many women speakers do: Chose an appropriate, neat and attractive outfit--and played it safe, running right up the middle of the wide range of wardrobe choices she might have made. And when you're starting out as a speaker, that's one way to go. For starters, your comfort level will be higher if you're wearing an outfit that's not distracting to you or your audience.

An advantage and disadvantage that women face as speakers is the wide range of wardrobe choices they can (or have to) make. How can Stephanie and any other woman speaker figure out how to make those choices? I think that's where we'll focus this week's coaching. Here's my best advice on deciding on your appearance as a speaker:

1. Cover the basics first: Whatever you wear needs to fit you, be clean and accommodate all the movements you might make as a speaker, whether you're reaching high to point at a chart or crawling under the lectern to adjust an electrical plug. See the list of basic questions in my checklist for the whole speaker to cover these issues when choosing what to wear.
2. Consider color: The ability to wear a wide range of colors is an advantage of women's wardrobes, but it also calls more attention to you visually in ways that may be uncomfortable (as Hillary Clinton found out during one of the presidential campaign debates when her coral jacket stood out among the black suits of her male competitors--and became the subject of jokes by the end of the debate). Don't let that put you off, and do use color as a way to focus eyes on you.
3. Ensure the speaker's comfort: I taught a day-long workshop on communications skills yesterday to more than 100 scientists, and you can bet my wardrobe choices included flat shoes with great support. No matter how attractive your outfit, if it makes you, the speaker uncomfortable in any way, don't wear it. It's not worth the distraction--and you have more important things to focus on, like your comfort.
4. Ensure the audience is focused on the right part of your speech: If your jewelry, the fit (or lack thereof) of your clothing or any aspect of your appearance distracts your audience, you'll only have succeeded in focusing them on how you look, rather than what you are saying. If you gesture a lot, that might mean removing rings before you speak, since they become more noticeable when your hands are moving. Check my list of things to remove before speaking for more ideas.
5. Consider how you want to be seen: A suit or dress--or more formal attire--isn't always a must for a woman speaker. Consider your audience and think about how you want to be seen, what overall image you want to project, and then match the clothing to fit that type of presence. For example, if I'm leading a long-format workshop with a group that's going to be casually dressed, I won't wear a suit--that might be too intimidating. Instead, I'll aim to look approachable and down-to-earth, in pants and a sweater or unconstructed jacket, for example. Use the variety in women's wardrobe choices to your advantage in this way, and remember that being able to take command of the room doesn't always require that suit of armor.
6. It's not just about the clothes. Your smile, eye contact, confidence, and content all matter more than your clothes--but clothes, jewelry and other appearance issues can subtract from those more important qualities. Make sure they complement, rather than distract us from, who you are and what you have to say.

I hope Stephanie and you find these considerations helpful. If you've found that appearance issues have tripped you up--or helped you create an advantage as a speaker--let us know about it in the comments. We welcome your tips and experiences!

Related posts: What does your speaker wardrobe say?

The double-edged sword of fashion

Image: another double-edged sword

4 things to remove before speaking

A checklist for the whole speaker (with 6 questions about wardrobe and more about intent)

Jennifer Cohen's very public first talk

I saw Jennifer Cohen give a talk at Ignite! Baltimore recently--and while her topic, "Fired: Four Times," was immediately compelling, just from the title, I got even more enthusiastic when I spoke to her afterward and found out that (aside from teaching), this was her first real public speech. It's a tall order for a first talk: You get 5 minutes and 20 slides, with the charge to "make a difference," and your slides are advanced every 15 seconds, no matter what. I asked Jennifer to contribute a guest post to describe the experience. While you're reading, keep in mind that this is a first-timer's experience. I think there's a lot to learn from it! A final note: Ignite! will be posting video of all the talks from this session and I'll add the video of Jennifer's talk as soon as it's available.

I was checking the Twitterstream one day and saw an interesting tweet directing me to Ignite! I really liked the concept of having five minutes to discuss anything, so I thought about what I would say in five minutes. I thought long and hard…five minutes to make a difference, what could I possibly say that could bring something to someone?

I decided I had a great topic and would share my trials and tribulations of being fired four times (plus I was looking for speaking opportunities for practice and to put myself out there). So I submitted my proposal for my five minute inspirational presentation about being fired four times and how I was still standing on my own two feet.

It was accepted!

Then I realized the true challenge of having five minutes…there would also be a 20 slide presentation to accompany the slide. The 20 slides would automatically rotate every 15 seconds. Crap.

As the deadline approached, I became nervous because it was down to the wire and I waited until the last minute to gather my thoughts. Although it was a personal story and I knew I could tell it with my eyes closed, I had to find a theme for 20 slides and coordinate my speech!

It was the true definition of the old saying “To speak for an hour, you can prepare for five minutes. To speak for five minutes, it will take an hour.” Well this took about four hours just to outline.

I wrote my speech in slides. I created the slides, then went back to tweak my presentation, making it more and more informal and tried to insert quick one-liners. I made the slide deadline and had four days to practice and perfect. Due to other obligations, I only used about three of the 96 hours.

Two hours before the presentation, I panicked! Was I prepared? I never practiced in front of anyone else, was I prepared to speak in front of a few others? What if I got flustered and stumbled? I decided I didn’t want to do it. Then I realized I drove two hours to get there and if I didn’t do it, I would have to tell everyone I chickened out. That was not going to happen.

I went up to give my presentation where the organizer promptly told me there were 500 people in the crowd. I instantly felt my body temperature rise. 500?! I thought there were only going to be about 50! Eeeek!

It was my turn.

I brought my notes with me so I would have something in my hand and something to reference if I started floundering.

I introduced myself and the five-minute clock started ticking.

I spoke slide-by-slide and told my personal story with passion. I knew what I wanted to say and added my own spin while I was in the flow. The laughs and nods from the crowd served as instant validation, but I was hoping they couldn’t see my knees knocking, hands shaking and hear my voice fumbling.

When it was over, I exited the stage…and almost fell off. My legs felt so weak, but I was relieved and excited! I walked over to my business partner who had the biggest smile I’d ever seen on his face! I nailed it!

Then came the best part of the night…Audience members approached me during the intermissions to say I was inspiring and to thank me for sharing my story. No one said I looked nervous or messed up; they just thanked me and congratulated me on a job well done.

It was exciting and it felt great to accomplish the goal I set when deciding to seize the opportunity! If I made one person feel inspired, positive or excited, it was worth it.

The connections and people I met that night were great. The experience gave me confidence to continue to inspire and to seek out additional opportunities to make a difference through the gift I was given…The gift of speaking.

-Jennifer Cohen
Something Creative LLC

Related posts: Pushing yourself to speak: Ignite!

Week 10: About your appearance

This week, our coaching focuses on appearance: wardrobe, makeup, jewelry and -- most important -- the overall image or presence you want to convey. In this video, Stephanie shares her initial thoughts about appearance and asks you some questions: What's important? She rightly notes that it's in part about the audience to whom you're speaking, and the context for your talk. I've called appearance issues the double-edged swords for women speakers, because they can work for or against you. What do you think? What have you encountered?

Stephanie gets tips at Essence conference

Last week, Stephanie Benoit went to the Essence Magazine Empowerment Conference in Chicago, and I suggested she take her Flip camcorderand interview attendees to get their tips on improving her public speaking. You'll recall that among Stephanie's goals is creating a women's empowerment conference of her own. She put the interviews together into a "movie" format with titles, something that's easy to do with the software built into the Flip camcorders. And I noticed that some of her interview subjects called her confident, which is a wonderful reflection of her progress in our Step Up Your Speaking online coaching. Thanks, Stephanie, for being our reporter on the scene! If readers have suggestions, ideas or encouragement for Stephanie, please leave them in the comments.

This week, our coaching will look at what I call the double-edged swords of speaking for women, all of which have to do with appearance: Wardrobe, jewelry, and most important, the image or presence you convey, which goes beyond your outfit. They're all areas that can give women a great advantage--or trip them up. Here's some reading for you--and Stephanie--to do while we put this week's coaching posts together.

Related posts: What does your speaker wardrobe say?

The double-edged sword of fashion

Image: another double-edged sword

4 things to remove before speaking

A checklist for the whole speaker (with 6 questions about wardrobe and more about intent)

Speechwriting contest!

Eloquent women who deliver prepared speeches--whether written by you or by a trusted speechwriter--should consider sending their best work to the Cicero Speechwriting Awards from Vital Speeches of the Day. Your entry can compete with others from similar organizations, by topic or by special occasion. Winners will be featured at a conference in February 2010. I hope you'll keep The Eloquent Woman posted--and share links to your speech entries in the comments!

Related posts: Questions speechwriters should ask speakers

How to write a suite of introductions for a speaker

Using aphorisms: a guide

What to leave out of a speech

speaking up for introverts

Today's New York Times includes a column by Nancy Ancowitz, a former Wall Street marketing executive turned business coach, who describes how she learned about how to put her introverted personality to best advantage, particularly when speaking up in work settings: in meetings, in putting herself and her accomplishments forward, and in more effective use of one-on-one relationships. This should sound familiar if you're introverted, but called upon to speak or speak out in the workplace:

I learned that introverts prefer to think before they speak, while extroverts tend to think as they speak. I also learned what energizes introverts (solo activities) versus extroverts (social activities). While I’m not typically shy, or socially anxious, and I thoroughly enjoy people — in doses — I catch my breath during my quiet time.

For introverted speakers who want to use their type to advantage, she recommends:

What does that look like on Monday morning? They prepare well for meetings and negotiations; they’ve done their reflective thinking in advance. They also schedule down time in order to recharge. And they seek out allies as trusted sounding boards and champions who can help spread the word about their quiet strengths.

All those tips work just as well when the introverted speaker is giving a presentation or speech to a larger audience.

Related posts: Factor in your speaker personality type

How Lady Bird Johnson went from shy speaker to shining

Keep it short--REALLY short

Let's face it, no one ever liked a long acceptance speech from an award winner--and now that audience attention spans are getting shorter and more cluttered with information, prize ceremonies are following suit. First, the Webby Awards for websites and blogs asked winners to limit themselves to no more than five word acceptance speeches. Now, the Mass High Tech awards asked winners to accept with what amounts to a Twitter speech--no more than 140 characters. The price for exceeding that limit: $1 per character, with the proceeds to go to a charity, which of course prompted some speakers to wax even more eloquent.

This tactic works well for a variety of reasons. It pokes fun at a part of the ceremony that audiences dread, making it part inside joke, part game--and it challenges the speakers to give crisper, tighter remarks. How might you use this as a speaker or organizer?

• Copy this idea for your next award ceremony. Ask winners for a headline, a 10-word acceptance for your 10th anniversary, a tweet-length remark, five words that capture why they got into the profession or the question they still wish they could answer. (Do specify a word limit, though, and announce it to the audience.)
• Use it for a panel discussion. Why put the audience through a panel that keeps answering questions with, "As Bill just said...." or "If I can just add to that...."? Tell the panelists they need to confine answers to five words and make a game out of the Q&A portion.
• Use it to introduce speakers. Ask moderators or introducers (at a ceremony, panel or conference) to intro the speakers with five keywords everyone should know about them...or ask speakers to submit five word or 140-character bios.
• Make the audience play. Ask for questions that are five words, 10 words or 140 characters long. It's a great way to engage audience members already on Twitter, which will count characters for them.

Share your ideas for keeping speaking roles short in the comments!

Tip or treat: October's top 10 tips

Readers chose the tips and treats they found on this blog in October, and I'm happy to share them with you in this monthly roundup of our most popular posts:

1. Should you use or lose the lectern? The focus of week 7 of our Step Up Your Speaking online coaching included this popular post with 3 video examples of women speakers demonstrating best practices, with or without a lectern. You can see online trainee Stephanie Benoit's thoughts on speakers and lecterns here.
2. Delivering her mother's eulogy was the challenge faced by one of The Eloquent Woman's fans on Facebook--and readers responded with their tips and advice.
3. How can I work on making eye contact? Stephanie asked in week 6 of our online coaching, and I responded with ways eye contact can get a speaker off-track.
4. Ignite! -- a speaking competition organized in cities around the U.S. -- inspired me to visit the Baltimore session held this month, and I featured two women speakers in this well-read post. One, a first-time speaker, is working on a guest post about her experience. Stay tuned!
5. To show Stephanie ways to connect with her audience, part of week 8 of our coaching, I took a tour of the FDR Memorial in Washington as inspiration for ways to better reach your listeners.
6. When did "um" become a dirty word? Michael Erard, author of the book , traces how speech disfluencies like um and uh went from normal to disparaged in this interview with our blog.
7. Do bullet points work in your slides? We featured a post from presentation blogger Olivia Mitchell that walks through the science of how audiences perceive bullets--and the answer is probably not as well as you think.
8. Using a prop to emphasize your point can underscore your message in a powerful way. This popular post gives you a video of a doctor discussing the H1N1 flu virus and its availability to see a great example, plus our tips.
9. The Eloquent Woman celebrated its 2-year anniversary in October with this roundup of our all-time-most-popular posts --a bagful of extra treats this month.
10. Prepping for a speech is like packing a suitcase, the focus of week 9 of my coaching with Stephanie. Getting ready without overpreparing is one of her top priorities, and this post packs a suitcase-full of tips.