November falls for our top 10 tips

November was an active month on The Eloquent Woman blog, with posts about speaking challenges when Twitter's in the room, how to work with speechwriters or maneuver a room without a written speech, sussing out your event space and more coaching for Stephanie Benoit in our Step Up Your Speaking challenge.  Here are the highlights from this busy month!

1. Audience members used Twitter to wonder whether to "do" her:  Speaker Danah Boyd had a disaster of a speech that included a live Twitter backchannel with snarky--and sexual--comments about her, projected behind her while she spoke. My post on this issue and what it means for women speakers flew to the top of this month's posts, and includes comments from readers, some of whom suggest those Twitter remarks were "not extreme." What do you think, women speakers?
2. How to present naked--without technology and props, that is--was the topic of a popular guest post by Marion Chapsal, a speaker coach in France.  She walks you through her experience and that of other speakers who use focus, engagement and storytelling to pull the audience in without extras. A bold approach you should be working toward as a speaker!
3. A checklist on how to check out your speaker space was our number 3 post, with questions to ask and ideas for how to find out what you need to know before you show up, including getting photos, video or other views.
4. What can speakers learn from speechwriters? Two speechwriters tell you in this popular post, which offers advice on how to say what you want to say as well as effective ways to work with a speechwriter to get the best presentation possible.
5. Jennifer Cohen's very first public talk was a runaway hit at the Ignite! Baltimore speaking event in October, with the compelling title, "Fired: Four Times."  I saw her deliver it and keep the oversized crowd engaged.  This guest post shares her perspective on speaking for the first time.
6. Introvert alert:  My post on speaking up for introverts shared tips from a business coach who's an introverted speaker herself, with ideas for what it takes for introverts to prepare for speaking--or speaking up in meetings.
7. As we near the final coaching sessions in our Step Up Your Speaking challenge, Stephanie took another try at conveying a message, using the tips she learned earlier in our coaching.  This month, she wowed me with this video of her progress--and I compared it to her original contest entry to show you how far she's come by the time of this week 12 (of 15) session.
8. Working with the people who manage programs and book speakers was the topic of another coaching session for Stephanie this month.  In this post, she got my tips for what to ask those organizers--18 questions in all--to figure out the opportunities available and whether they work for you.
9. One great way to make a message sing: Use an analogy.  I walked readers through the thinking behind an effective analogy for use in everything from a short message to a full-length speech.
10. Got a speaker or speakers in your life or work?  My suggestions for gifting the speaker can work whether you're rewarding a colleague, friend, family member or the speakers you book for your events.  The right book, device or gift card can go a long way to encourage a woman speaker.

Finally, November saw us pass the 1,600 mark in fans of The Eloquent Woman on Facebook, a companion site to the blog that includes discussions, videos, tips and more.  I hope you'll join us as a fan or use Facebook's "suggest to friends" feature to share this resource with speakers in your own fan base.

Fix 3: Rehash & improve your speaking

Do you find yourself running into the same speaking problems again and again? Do you try quick fixes or on-the-fly solutions, without success? Then it's time to take the fix-3 approach to rehashing and improving your speaking.

It's a simple and systematic approach, and you should use it right after a speech or presentation, and before your next talk:  Take the time soon after speaking to list at least three things you did well, or three accomplishments for your presentation.  (You may well have more than three, but make sure there are at least three on the list.)  These are the factors you should make a point to employ again, whether it's a great outfit, a clever phrase, a strong storytelling element or an effective set of slides.

Then list the three things that didn't go so well--again, at least three, although you may have more.  If your list is a long one, choose three items that you want to improve the next time you make a presentation or speech.  For each one, list the things you need to do to better your performance in those areas.

If this sounds too simple, know that most speakers don't take the time for this type of self-analysis. Instead, they try different fixes on the spot, or resign themselves to doing poorly, or find ways to gloss over their issues. They may tell themselves they can't fix their problems, or that no one notices. The fix-3 approach is the same one we've been using in the Step Up Your Speaking online coaching for Stephanie Benoit, who chose three priorities for her 15 weeks of coaching. In fact, the fix-3 approach has lots of advantages for either the beginning or experienced speaker:

1. It lets you take a big wish list and whittle it down into manageable steps, an important factor for the beginning speaker or for any speaker unsure of herself.  You can work on one big problem and break it down: If confidence is a major problem, for example, come up with a list of many steps you can take to improve it--then work on three at a time.  Or your list may have many different aspects.
2. You can mix large and small objectives, to make the fixes even more manageable.  You don't have to tackle all the difficult goals at once.
3. Your time in between speeches will be productive and focused.  Instead of showing up for your next talk thinking, "I always do this wrong," or "I'm still scared," you can try out the improvements you've practiced. That will build your confidence as well as your skill.

And one more, the best advantage of all: You'll improve as a speaker. 

In this much-discussed post from a speaker who had a bad experience, she shares a lot about herself as a speaker--things she now takes for granted about her speaking.  Based on her post, her list of factors to improve might include:

• I have to read my speeches, which means I need a laptop to seem like I'm speaking extemporaneously--but I can't always have a laptop.  For this factor, the speaker may want to work on developing a message she can remember without notes.
• The setup was different than I imagined it would be.  This hints that the speaker needs to come up with a thorough list of questions to ask the organizers to better anticipate what will and will not be available.
• I think people don't know I'm reading because of the tricks I use.  If you think similar thoughts, check those assumptions--and figure out how to avoid reading if you can. Your audience will appreciate it.
• I need to see the audience.  Two possible fixes: Get used to speaking with bright lights through practice, or get into the audience where you can see them.
• The first two minutes of my talk are painful, and I fill them with fluff until I get comfortable.  Learning to relax before you speak, coming up with a strong beginning to draw the audience in, and not assuming the audience will enjoy a fluffy beginning are all factors to work on here.
• I think terrible things about myself when a speech is going wrong.  Working on positive ways to reinforce yourself, or ways to shift to a different plan when one approach goes wrong would be options to consider for this issue.

When you get used to using the fix-3 approach regularly, you'll sit down soon after every talk and list your accomplishments and things that need adjusting right away--and be ready with new improvements by the time of your next speech.  Turning flaws or weak points into accomplishments each time can be the best kind of reinforcement.

Gifting the speaker

Do you know women you want to encourage in public speaking? That might mean you, and it might mean women in your life. While you're making your list and checking it twice this holiday season, think about gifts that will inspire, educate and assist a speaker. Here are my favorites, and this week, you may want to check Amazon's Black Friday deals and specials for more ideas:

• Want to stop shuffling papers or have lots of speeches--yours or your inspirations--at your fingertips without carrying a lot of paper? The Kindle wireless reading device is for you. It stores hundreds of books and documents, so you can load it with some of the inspiring speaking books noted below, plus PDF or Word documents with your own speeches--then adjust the type size for readability, and have the device read your speech aloud so you can hear it as practice. It eliminates shuffling papers or losing a page when you speak, too. Try the six-inch version, which is no more obvious than an index card in your hand and has worldwide wireless service, or go for the larger 9.7-inch Kindle DX with wireless in the U.S. only. Both now offer a horizontal as well as vertical display. Or choose yourself some books in the Kindle bookstore. The Kindle is one of my favorite speaking tools.
• Organizers and program chairs often want to reward speakers, especially if their speaking's a volunteer effort. Go with a gift card so the speaker can choose a book or product that will aid her next effort.
• Wouldn't it be great if women speakers made an effort to quote women in their speeches?  You can make that easier with books like The Quotable Woman: The First 5,000 Years, a volume I've owned versions of since my college days; The Quotable Jewish Woman: Wisdom, Inspiration and Humor from the Mind and Heart; or Stewart's Quotable African Women.
• Say It Plain: Live Recordings of the 20th Century's Great African-American Speeches: A Book-and-CD Set sets right the imbalance in many collections of great speeches by focusing on African-American voices. Women in this inspiring collection include Fanny Lou Hamer, Barbara Jordan, and Mary McLeod Bethune.  This is great for a speaker who wants to understand the great speakers who came before her and quote them in her own speeches--and a wonderful set of model speeches, too. The CD will let you hear the delivery, a real advantage when you're shaping your own speaking style.
• Sermons are a regular form of public speaking for many women, who do the tough job of coming up with something to say in public on a regular basis. You can inspire them with books like Birthing the Sermon-Women Preachers on the Creative Process, which gets into the process of creating a sermon, and Delivering the Sermon: Voice, Body, and Animation in Proclamation (Elements of Preaching) (Elements of Preaching), which adds how to use your voice and body to put across a sermon's message (the author's a speech pathologist).
• Speaking up in meetings is a big issue for readers of this blog.  Your workplace colleagues or human resources department can use Women Speaking Up: Getting and Using Turns in Workplace Meetings as a comprehensive guide to the issue, as well as learning the specific behaviors men and women exhibit in meetings. (Read more about this book in my earlier post.)  For health professionals, check out Writing, Speaking, and Communication Skills for Health Professionals, which includes tips on speaking up in meetings.

An outspoken woman gets her due

She knew she'd made news, and history. But because she was outspoken, she wasn't considered suitable as a good example. Now, a children's book that won the National Book Award, Claudette Colvin: Twice Toward Justice, is giving Colvin what's long overdue: credit for being the first to test the Jim Crow laws by sitting in the "white section" on a bus.

According to author Phillip Hoose, quoted in this article in today's New York Times, “[civil rights leaders] worried they couldn’t win with her....Words like ‘mouthy,’ ‘emotional’ and ‘feisty’ were used to describe her.” Also in the article, Colvin says today, “Maybe by telling my story — something I was afraid to do for a long time — kids will have a better understanding about what the civil rights movement was about.”  But, told for years that she shouldn't draw attention to herself, she even asked the author whether he thought the publisher could get the book into schools.  The article and book are an inspiring read, and a reminder why women should keep speaking up and speaking out.

The object in Danah Boyd's Web 2.0 talk

Danah Boyd, a Harvard fellow and Microsoft researcher of social media and youth culture trends and behaviors, gave a disastrous talk at the Web 2.0 Expo this month.  I've blogged about it on the don't get caught blog in terms of the most-discussed factors that made it a train wreck:  a snarky group in the audience whose comments on Twitter were broadcast online and behind Boyd as she spoke, and Boyd's own preparation missteps, which she describes unflinchingly in her own post here.

We know the subject of Boyd's talk.  But what was the object?

Despite all the discussion, calls for apologies and outrage over this episode, I've yet to see observers pick up on an important point that Boyd herself makes: Some of the comments broadcast on Twitter by some of her audience members were objectifying and sexual in nature. Here's what she said:

I would *NEVER* have given my talk on race and class in such a setting. I shudder to think about how the racist language people used when I gave that talk would've been perceived on the big screen. Speaking of which...what's with the folks who think it's cool to objectify speakers and talk about them as sexual objects? The worst part of backchannels for me is being forced to remember that there are always guys out there who simply see me as a fuckable object. Sure, writing crass crap on public whiteboards is funny... if you're 12. But why why why spend thousands of dollars to publicly objectify women just because you can? This is the part that makes me angry....I don't want to be objectified when I'm speaking - either as a talking head or a sexual toy. I want to inspire, to invite you to think, to spark creative thoughts in your head.

Told you she was unflinching.

Unfortunately, I can't pull up the offensive tweets to show you, due to technical problems on Twitter today (but if someone has preserved this part of the Twitterstream, I welcome hearing from you with a link, or from audience members who recall these particular tweets).  At some points during Boyd's talk, the projected Twitterstream was taken down due to the offensive nature of the comments, then projected again when the audience objected.

I'll leave it to the psychoanalysts, attorneys and academics to analyze whether the sexual comments from the audience, broadcast as they were online and to the attendees in the room, constituted narcissism, slander, hate speech or all three.  For me, the episode throws into high relief an issue about women and public speaking that generally goes undiscussed, as it has in the hundreds of reflections on this conference:  Public speaking is uncomfortable for many women because they sense (or know from experience) that they'll be seen as sexual objects, and it's considered acceptable to treat them that way, in part, because they've put themselves forward as speakers.  

Talk about discouraging women to speak.  In 2009, we're seeing yet again an issue that has plagued women speakers since the days of ancient Greece and Rome:  Attempting to silence women by treating them as sexual objects (or hysterics, or other negatives).  This chapter in Kathleen Hall Jamieson's excellent book Eloquence in an Electronic Age: The Transformation of Political Speechmaking discusses this topic in detail, but the chapter's first lines sum it up: "History has many themes. One of them is that women should be quiet." If you want to understand the spotty and difficult history of women and public speaking, that chapter's an excellent short course.

Danah Boyd herself was the object in her talk, for some men in her audience. Not a researcher, not a colleague, but an object. 

The silence around this issue is all the more striking because this Web 2.0 Expo experience gives us two unique windows into the minds of the speaker and the audience. If the Twitter feed weren't public, those crude thoughts would've been known only by those thinking them--and the speaker would have had nothing to react to in her blog post.  In a way, I'm grateful for this public meltdown, because it lets us put this common but undiscussed issue on the table, where women can face it and, perhaps, deal with it. I don't think we can change people's thoughts, by a long shot. But we need to be willing to talk about the issue.  If we don't, it will remain one of those vague reasons women feel uncomfortable about public speaking, but aren't sure why. In fact, if the offensive tweets are removed, as they might well be, Boyd's willingness to write about them could be the only record we have--underscoring the importance of making these issues public.

And for those reading this who wonder, "Is this really a problem? I've never experienced it," let me just say that this blog--which aims to offer good advice and information to all speakers, male or female--came about because of the number of women who come to me for training saying things like, "They told me my presentations aren't sexy enough," or "My boss thinks I should wear skirts when I'm making a presentation or a speech."  And that's in the 21st century.  It's not the only gender issue women face in speaking, but it's a major one.

Kudos to Boyd, not just for her excellent research, but her willingness to speak frankly, allowing us to have a discussion.  Please share your thoughts and additional information about this episode, or what you've experienced directly, in the comments.

Related posts:  Twitter backchannel: Danah Boyd's take
New ebook on presenting with Twitter

Tweeting at meetings gets controversial

Speakers: Learn from Twitter hecklers

5 ways to find out about your audience

Find out more about women's issues in public speaking on The Eloquent Woman blog

Find out more about my workshops and one-on-one speaker coaching services

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Speak with power and elegance: Eat, Pray, Love

As part of her blog's series on powerful women speakers, speaker coach Marion Chapsal shares some observations about this TED talk by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the bestselling memoir Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia that are useful if you're working on creating a speaker presence for yourself.

Here's what Marion noticed in this talk that you can take away:

• You can perform on a stage with nothing else but your presence, yourself, no technology.

• You can rely on stories and myths to give flesh to your talk.

• You can be perfectly structured with elegance and flow.

Those all sound like an eloquent woman to me. Thanks to Marion for sharing another good video example of a powerful woman speaker. What did you see in this talk that you can use in your next speech?

Related posts:  What's your speaker presence?

Week 13: Following up after a speech

Plenty of speakers focus on preparation and delivery. But in week 13 of Stephanie's online coaching, I want to be sure she--and all of you--keep in mind what happens after your speech. How and whether you follow up with your organizers, audience and followers can make the difference between a good speech and a great one. Here's my checklist of steps you should take after a speech, and these tips work for meeting presentations and small-group talks as well as formal speeches:

• Thank those who invited you. That may be a program committee or individual organizer, as well as anyone who recommended you as a speaker to the group in question.  If your "speech" was a presentation in a meeting, thank the person who chaired it as well as the person who asked you to present.  And don't just thank them from the lectern during your presentation--write an email, or speak to them in person directly after you speak, or both. Organizers and meeting chairs need feedback, and you can use this opportunity to let them know your interest in speaking again.  Pave the way for future talks now. 
• Thank those who went above-and-beyond for you.  All sorts of things can and will go wrong during presentations. Did someone (or a group) rally around to help you get through it? From the audio-visual team to the organizers or audience, be sure to take the time to let them know how much they helped you.  Sometimes, you can find ways to thank them publicly, as I did in this blog post sharing what could have been a disastrous presentation made wonderful by the collective efforts of the board of Science Writers in New York when I spoke to their group in May.  If it's a group you'd always want to have your back in a troubled presentation, say so.  (This step also may apply to someone behind the scenes: The person who let you rehearse endlessly, the person who handled the technology, and others.)
• Talk to individual audience members:  Don't just dash off after you speak. Be sure to allow another 15 - 30 minutes to mingle with individuals and take questions from them.  Keep in mind that many audience members--even in small meetings--won't want to ask a public question (and that may be particularly true for women, who tend to prefer one-on-one interaction).  As the speaker, it's up to you to be available. If these contacts ask you for more information, be sure to write or call them soon after your presentation to follow up.
• Be sure people know how and where to find you later.  Bring business cards or a paper handout with your contact information--and please don't just note your contact points on a slide.  If possible, work with the meeting organizer to make sure each participant has your materials.
• Share additional resources.  One way to take some pressure off your presentation is to decide to focus your remarks tightly, but share more information as an ongoing reference.  I've switched from paper handouts and materials to posting additional points on my blogs to make resources and links widely available, and I sometimes post video of the Q&A with longer answers than I can give in a presentation.
• Let people know you're available to speak to other groups.  Don't think this is obvious. Your materials, take-aways and even the last part of your presentation should, where appropriate, let people know your willingness to speak on this topic again.
• Share information on the success of your speech, and share your materials.  Think of the audience beyond the room you're speaking in.  Post an update to Twitter or Facebook after you speak, share photos from the event, and post links to your materials where a wider audience can see them.  You can use sites like SlideShare or Prezi to post your slides online for others to see--check out the SlideShare section of The Eloquent Woman on Facebook, where you can post slides from your recent presentations and see popular slides from other speakers.

Stephanie's just starting out as a speaker, so she won't be able to put these tips into action just yet.  But she can be thinking about what types of materials she'll use as audience resources.  And anyone can join our conversation in this week of the U.S. Thanksgiving holiday to share what you're grateful for as a speaker.

Related posts:  15 Weeks to Step Up Your Speaking contest and online coaching

Become a fan of The Eloquent Woman on Facebook

what do speakers assume?

Last month, I spent nearly as much time in the audience as I did up front as a speaker, and from that vantage point, I noticed lots of speakers making faulty assumptions about their audiences or their speeches. (For example, I saw lots of speakers assume they could hold the microphone anywhere and still be heard.) So I asked fans of The Eloquent Woman on Facebook what speaker assumptions they'd noticed, and whether those assumptions were right or wrong. Here's what they said:

• Germaine Palangdao called out speakers for "Acronyms - they assume everyone knows acronyms."
• Cynthia Baugh-Gunder Hill wrote, "Of the many audiences I have been in this past summer listening to speakers on various subjects related to education and special needs... I must agree with the acronyms and the audience not being able to hear clearly. In addition... speakers that use PowerPoint and the lights are dimmed to the point that you can't make any notes, even if they supply you with a copy of the slides."
• Tiffany Lohwater added, "speakers who assume that their audience can/should read the 15+ text bullets on one slide in small font, before they click on to the next one!"

That's why I was glad to see this week that Marjorie Brody, writing on the Six Minutes blog, notes 8 faulty speakers assumptions and what you can do to fix them.  Her list includes:

1.Deep knowledge of a topic alone will enable me to present ideas on it.
2.My audience members are mind readers.
3.I can present information/concepts that took me 3 months to learn in a 20-minute presentation.
4.Everyone in my audience is equal.
5.I don’t need to practice out loud.
6.I’ll have plenty of time to get there.
7.If I get off the platform/stage, I will be closer to audience members.
8.If I speak at my normal speed, everyone will understand me.

What do you notice speakers assuming when you're in the audience? Can you think of assumptions you make when you're speaking--and what to do about them? Share your thoughts and questions in the comments. I just know we can add to these lists!

And check out my checklist for the whole speaker, designed to help you get at some of the most basic speaker assumptions--from your content to what you're wearing--before you speak.